I was interviewed on the subject of social anxiety and was published in an article for the Huffington Post.
13 Useful, Expert-backed Tips For Dealing With Social Anxiety
Here it is:
1. Go into a social setting armed with a strategy.
“As damaging as being ‘too into your head’ can be, some preparation and intent can be very beneficial,” said Bill Koch, a Chicago-based clinical therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders.
One such strategy is to identify places and people that will help you feel the most comfortable.
“This can make the difference between a surprisingly pleasant evening and your worst nightmare come true. Having some plan can help instill a feeling of confidence and some much wanted control over a situation that feels out of control,” Koch said.
Upon arriving at a party, for instance, he recommends immediately seeking out a calm area within the space. “If you know the place you are going will be hectic, make a plan to spend most of the time on the patio where you won’t feel bombarded by a large crowd,” he said.
Another tip is to start small and work your way up from there. Koch recommends kicking off the night by chatting with a few close friends in the kitchen before diving into the full party crowd. He also suggests surrounding yourself with people you know or with whom you’re comfortable to act as a cushion.
“Identifying a person you are comfortable with can be an ‘in case of emergency’ plan,” he said. “If you are feeling overwhelmed, you can retreat to a familiar face where you feel more at ease and can calm down.”
2. Give yourself a calming mantra and don’t be afraid to use it.
Reciting a mantra can give you a sense of control in a stressful social situation, according to Koch.
“Whenever you feel anxious, repeating a calming word or phrase can serve as a friendly reminder that anxiety is only a feeling created by thoughts,” he said.
Your mantra can range from a single word to a quickly uttered thought such as “easy, easy, easy,” “no one cares,” or “not a big deal.”
“I have had clients that used simple affirmations like ‘you’re cool, you’re cool’ as a way to instill positive self-talk,” Koch explained. “And even the clichéd ‘woosa’ works as well ― really any type of word or phrase that can help refocus your attention from unwanted anxious thoughts to your own calming self-talk will do.”