The Damage from Device Overuse and How to Solve it

Staring at our screens and doom scrolling is dangerous for our mental health, yet we continue to do so. Gain back some control and put yourself in a healthier place.

1. Increased Anxiety and Stress

Constant notifications and the pressure to stay connected can heighten feelings of anxiety and stress. The fear of missing out (FOMO) often leads us to check our devices compulsively, which can create a cycle of distraction and overwhelm.

2. Sleep Disruption

Blue light emitted by screens interferes with our natural sleep patterns. Engaging with devices late into the night can make it difficult to wind down, leading to poor sleep quality and contributing to fatigue and irritability.

3. Reduced Face-to-Face Interactions

While devices can facilitate communication, they can also diminish the quality of in-person interactions. Relying too heavily on technology can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, as meaningful connections may take a backseat to digital conversations.

4. Difficulty Concentrating

Frequent device use can impair our ability to focus. The constant barrage of information and notifications makes it challenging to engage deeply with tasks, leading to reduced productivity and increased frustration.

Strategies for Setting Boundaries

1. Establish Device-Free Zones

Create specific areas in your home where devices are not allowed, such as the dining room or bedroom. This promotes face-to-face interactions during meals and ensures a more restful environment for sleep.

2. Set Time Limits

Use app timers or built-in features on your devices to limit usage. Designate specific times for checking emails and social media, and stick to these limits to help reduce mindless scrolling.

3. Schedule Downtime

Intentionally schedule periods of time when you unplug from all devices. This could be an hour each evening or a full day on weekends. Use this time to engage in activities that nourish your mental health, such as reading, exercising, or spending time in nature.

4. Turn Off Notifications

Minimize distractions by turning off non-essential notifications. By controlling what alerts you, you can reduce the temptation to check your device constantly and create a more peaceful environment.

5. Practice Mindful Use

Be intentional about how and when you use your devices. Before reaching for your phone or laptop, ask yourself if it’s necessary. Practicing mindfulness can help you cultivate a healthier relationship with technology.

6. Engage in Digital Detoxes

Consider taking regular breaks from technology, whether it’s for a day, weekend, or longer. A digital detox allows you to reconnect with yourself and the world around you without the interference of screens.

Setting boundaries with devices is crucial for protecting our mental health in an increasingly digital world. By implementing intentional strategies to limit device usage, we can reduce anxiety, improve sleep quality, and foster deeper connections with those around us. Remember, technology is a tool meant to enhance our lives, not to control them. By taking charge of our device habits, we can create a more balanced and fulfilling life. Embrace these boundaries and experience the positive shift in your mental well-being!

Summer Sun and Summer Sighs, Managing Anxiety During Warmer Months

Summer’s arrival, while often associated with carefree fun, can trigger anxiety in many individuals. The extended daylight hours, disrupted routines, and pressure for social activities can all contribute to heightened anxiety levels. Let’s explore the reasons behind summer anxiety and offer some science-backed strategies for managing it.

Summer can bring more than beaches and suntans — Photo by Jean Frenna on Pexels.com

Physiological Factors: The heat and humidity associated with summer can mimic some of the physical symptoms of anxiety, like increased heart rate, sweating, and shortness of breath. This can create a feedback loop, where the perception of these physical sensations worsens anxiety.

Disrupted Sleep Patterns: Longer daylight hours can disrupt sleep cycles, leading to sleep deprivation – a well-known risk factor for anxiety.

Social Pressures: Summer often comes with the expectation of increased social interaction, attending barbecues, pool parties, or beach trips. Individuals with social anxiety may find these scenarios overwhelming and avoid them altogether, leading to feelings of isolation and FOMO (fear of missing out).

Financial Concerns: The perceived pressure to participate in expensive summer activities like vacations or outings can exacerbate financial anxiety and feelings of inadequacy.

Strategies for Managing Summer Anxiety:

Maintain Consistent Sleep Hygiene: Prioritize consistent sleep schedules, even on weekends, to regulate your circadian rhythm and improve mood. Consider blackout curtains if extended daylight disrupts sleep.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT can help identify and challenge negative thought patterns that contribute to anxiety. Consider working with a therapist to develop coping mechanisms.
Relaxation Techniques: Practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing exercises, mindfulness meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation to manage physical symptoms of anxiety in the moment.
Gradual Exposure: If social gatherings trigger anxiety, gradually expose yourself to social situations in a safe and controlled way. Start small, with trusted friends or family, and build up to larger events.
Focus on Quality, Not Quantity: Prioritize quality connections over a high volume of social events. Plan activities you genuinely enjoy and feel comfortable with.
Financial Planning: Set realistic expectations for summer spending and explore free or low-cost activities like picnics, hiking, or local cultural events.

Seeking Professional Help: If anxiety becomes overwhelming and interferes with your daily life, don’t hesitate to seek professional help from a licensed therapist or counselor.

Remember: Summer can be a joyful season. By understanding the triggers for your anxiety and implementing these strategies, you can navigate the challenges and create a summer filled with relaxation and positive experiences.

The power of breath: How deep breathing reduces anxiety

Anxiety is a physiological symptom as much as it is psychological. All meditations start and end with taking a deep mindful breath. Studies have demonstrated that a deep breath can reduce stress and improve mood. Why is something so simple so effective? Looking first at how anxiety works will help illustrate.

Anxiety starts in the brain, in the amygdala. Nicknamed the “fear center,” the amygdala’s job is to warn of any danger, real or perceived. This part of our brain existed long before we developed our ability to reason, and served us well in times where our ancestors had to fear danger from predators at every moment. Since then, the world has changed and it is a rare situation where we find ourselves in true danger. Nevertheless our amygdala is still there, still warning of danger.

Think of when someone comes up from behind and spooks us. Boom! We feel a full body jolt of adrenaline. It is a full body sensation, causing restricted or shortened breathing, tightening of our muscles, and increases in our heart rate. The brain is shouting, “DANGER!” All of this would be helpful if we had to evade a bear attack, but when it occurs prior to giving a speech in front of a large crowd, it is not so helpful.

Breathing is a way to calm both the brain and body and counteract the symptoms of stress and anxiety. A deep, full bodied breath signals the parasympathetic system, the part that is calming and relaxing. A deep breath slows your heart rate and relaxes the muscles in your body. It also provides a moment to stop any intrusive thoughts from cascading.

Deep breathing is such ubiquitous advice that it is easy to lose perspective of how powerful and efficient it is. It is always available, and does not require privacy or space. Sometimes the simple advice is the most effective. Try some deep breathing exercises and have them ready to use the next time you feel stressed or anxious.

5 Red Flags in Relationships To Watch Out For

Relationships are a two-way street. They require communication, trust, respect, and love. When one or both partners are not contributing to these things, it can lead to problems. Here are five red flags to watch out for in any relationship:

Jealousy and possessiveness. A healthy relationship should be built on trust and respect. If your partner is constantly checking up on you, accusing you of cheating, or trying to control who you see and what you do, this is a red flag.
Verbal or physical abuse. No one deserves to be verbally or physically abused. If your partner ever puts their hands on you or calls you names, this is a serious problem that needs to be addressed.
Gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which the abuser tries to make the victim question their own reality. They may do this by denying things that happened, making the victim feel crazy, or blaming them for their own problems.
Neglect. If your partner is constantly putting their own needs and wants before yours, this is a sign that they are not committed to the relationship. They may be emotionally unavailable, or they may simply not care about you as much as you care about them.
Lack of communication. Communication is essential for any healthy relationship. If your partner is unwilling to talk to you about their feelings, needs, or concerns, this is a red flag. It could mean that they are not interested in working on the relationship, or that they are hiding something from you.

If you see any of these red flags in your relationship, it is important to talk to your partner about them. If they are unwilling to change their behavior, you may need to consider ending the relationship. You deserve to be in a relationship with someone who loves and respects you.

Here are some additional tips for dealing with red flags in relationships:

Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is.
Don’t be afraid to speak up. If your partner is doing something that makes you uncomfortable, tell them.
Don’t make excuses for their behavior. Just because someone loves you doesn’t mean they have the right to treat you poorly.
Set boundaries. Let your partner know what you are and are not willing to tolerate.
Get help if you need it. If you are in an abusive relationship, there are resources available to help you. You don’t have to go through this alone, reach out for help here
Schedule an appointment with our therapists here and work on finding a healthy relationship

5 Easy Ways to Manage your Anxiety

Anxious? Use these 5 tips to manage it better.

Anxiety is a common mental health condition that can be managed effectively through various methods. Here are five ways to control anxiety:

Exercise: Regular physical activity can help reduce anxiety by releasing endorphins, improving mood, and promoting relaxation. Aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise per day, such as walking, jogging, cycling, or yoga.
Mindfulness meditation: Practicing mindfulness meditation can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, and develop a greater sense of calm and control. Start by setting aside a few minutes each day to sit quietly and focus on your breath.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT is a type of therapy that can help you identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to anxiety. A trained therapist can help you learn coping skills and relaxation techniques to manage your symptoms.
Limit caffeine and alcohol intake: Both caffeine and alcohol can increase feelings of anxiety and interfere with sleep. Try to limit your intake of these substances, especially in the hours leading up to bedtime.
Practice good sleep habits: Getting enough sleep is important for managing anxiety. Establish a regular sleep routine, avoid screen time before bed, and create a comfortable sleep environment to promote restful sleep.

Schedule an appointment to find relief from your anxiety

5 Surprising Symptoms of Depression

Depression is one of the most widely diagnosed mental illnesses, affecting over 280 million people. Our culture has become much more aware of depression, but it is still often represented by symptoms that are not typical in everyone. Depression gets overlooked when it doesn’t fit our cultural expectation of sadness and melancholy. Many symptoms are invisible to the outside observer, or can be assumed as having nothing to do with mental health. It’s important to know the true criteria for a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder, as even those struggling with depression are often unaware of how it manifests in their life. Recognizing these symptoms in yourself or others can drastically alter your success in managing a depressive episode.

Change in Appetite/Sleep

Biological signs of depression can be helpful, as they are objective and easily observed by others. A depressive episode for many is marked by disruption in their sleep or eating routines. It is common for this to happen either way. One can have largely increased appetite during a depressive episode, or it can be extremely limited. Gaining ten pounds doesn’t seem like it would be related to mental health, yet often it is the case. Similarly for sleep, a depressive episode is frequently marked by a increase or decrease in sleep. It is typical to hear someone unable to get any sleep, but another might report an inability to do anything other than sleep. The severity of the disruption is often an indicator of how severe the depressive episode is.

Apathy/Lack of Joy

It is easy to think of depression as experiencing new symptoms of depression or negative thinking, but more often depression appears as the absence of your “normal self.” Whether it is not enjoying activities that you used to, or having difficulty ever feeling moments of joy. Anhedonia or the inability to feel pleasure is a trademark of a depressive episode. If you are wondering if you have depression, try and think when was the last time you felt happy. It can be helpful to quantify your mood and scale it with a range of 1-10. If you have only been on the low side of that scale, it might be worth considering the possibility of depression.

Low Motivation/Lack of Focus

Low motivation or difficulty focusing is another common symptom of depression. A reduction in productivity can have many causes but when it is lasting and paired with other symptoms, it is important to consider the possibility of depression. Someone experiencing a depressive episode often is observed as “lazy,” or “disorganized” when in fact this is a result of a mental health crisis. Imagine trying to complete your daily work assignments while you feel complete fatigue and can’t muster the energy to do your dishes. While this symptom doesn’t scream “I’m depressed!” it is one of the first complaints you hear from someone with this diagnosis. Unfortunately, it is also one of the most debilitating symptoms, affecting job security, hygiene, and even the ability to help themselves. It also explains why someone cannot simply “will their way out of it.”

Tearfulness/High Emotions

When most think of depression, we think of sadness. How we display that sadness is different for all of us. For many, depression shows as the ability to start crying at the drop of a hat. Even when they are not feeling terribly sad. For others it can be volatile emotions, barely held back. Explosive anger, high anxiety, or deep depression all are common feelings people report. The contrast between this highly emotional self and your regular self can sometimes be quite the contrast or it can be easily hidden. Taking an inventory of where your mood has been can help increase your insight.

Irritability

Most don’t associate anger with depression, but it is the number one representation of depression in men. High irritability is extremely indicative of depression, and when paired with other symptoms is a key indicator of when someone has entered a depressive episode. There is often deep sadness underneath anger and we culturally feel more comfortable expressing anger than any other emotion.(Think Toxic Masculinity.) This cultural norm as well as a difficulty sitting with sadness leads to projection, where sadness is transformed into anger. Many times that angry and bitter person doesn’t need anger management, but rather treatment for depression

Depression shows up very different depending on the person and this unique presentation can make it difficult to diagnose. Here is more information on all the symptoms of depression. If you would like an evaluation to see if you or someone you know meets the criteria for depression contact us.

Social media is ruining your self esteem. Here’s Why.

People are social creatures, so it is no wonder that some of the first uses of the internet were to connect and interact with others. First it was email, then came instant messaging, then Myspace and Facebook. When first presented, Social media seems harmless and a great way to stay connected to our community.

Facebook is currently in the news when it came to light that they knew of the harmful effects of their social media platforms. While terrible, this came as no shock to many. These corporations take very few steps to change their platforms, despite understanding very well how damaging it can be to teens and adults. When a company is selling a product that is dangerous, it is important to highlight the health risks that come with it.

It is well documented that increased social media usage correlates with increased severity in symptoms of anxiety and depression. This has been repeatedly proven to the point it is well known, but broad enough where people feel that it must not apply to them. Despite studies stating this constantly coming out, social media sites are still some of the most frequented websites. A exploration into some of the threats social media causes can be helpful in understanding how detrimental it is on our mental health.

Downward comparison

We live in relation to each other. Everything is categorized by what it is similar to and what it is different from, helping us establish a basis of what the item is. It is an innate trait that has helped us survive as humans. One of the negatives is that this hardwired trait leads to what is called Downward comparison. We look at who has more money than us, who is more attractive, who seems happier. These comparisons are often based on irrational thoughts, but they still happen frequently, and lead to negative feelings. Social media platforms are rife with this type of thought as we are forced to see the very best others have to offer.

No one posts pictures that are unflattering. There is no mention of the constant fighting with the spouse. Only the highlight reel makes it, and to the public eye it seems like life is perfect. It causes feelings of resentment, inadequacy, and depression. It can take a grateful and content mind to reexamine and look through the lens of “more.” The opportunity for downward comparison exists in so many places we don’t need to go seeking it. A poll showed that over half of Instagram users have saved a picture to post for later, meaning that what we see is not accurately reflective of their life.

Isolation

Despite having social in the name, platforms like instagram and facebook have been demonstrated to cause feelings of isolation. One reason seems to be the recurring theme of taking an inaccurate view of someone’s life as accurate. Looking at a friend’s posted picture of them at a party easily causes longing thoughts of “Why weren’t I invited,” when that may otherwise have never occurred. The other reason is that while social in name, these platforms have a very limited connection in contrast to real life. Spending so much time online acts as a barrier from authentic connection. The sheer scope of the internet allows for a strange anonymity, where one can feel invisible. While social media provides the opportunity to make connections otherwise unavailable, it still pales in comparison to having to be seen and actively present in an environment.

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying is a real threat, and the anonymity of the internet makes it a breed. Despite awareness of privacy concerns, people pour their hearts out on social media and frequently share vulnerabilities. This especially applies to adolescents, who are the highest users of social media. As with most adolescent groups, bullying is a major problem and hard to stop. The anonymity provided by some apps and platforms makes it especially challenging to stop cyberbullying.

Social Media creates distorted Beauty Ideals

Our self esteem is highly tied to how attractive we feel we are, especially during adolescence. This is a dangerous line of thinking when we are on an even playing field, but today’s social media posts are highly distorted and altered using software like photoshop. This destroys any reality and leads to false comparisons.

Body image issues are already prevalent and common, now factor in that we are not comparing ourselves with real images, but instead images that are highly altered and distorted. You can see trends where unnatural figures become the “ideal of beauty.” Imagine playing a game that is simply unwinnable if you don’t cheat. That is the world that social media has created, and provides an explanation into skyrocketing levels of depression and eating disorders.

70% of normal weighted women want to be thinner. Over 50% of teen girls and 30% of teen boys engage in unhealthy weight loss behaviors, such as laxatives, skipping meals, vomiting, fasting, or taking laxatives. What’s worse is that we know that the standards set in the media are unattainable. In one study, 65% of respondents reported that body image ideals set by the fashion industry were “too skinny.” Photoshop has become so ubiquitous that it is seen in everyday users’ posts on instagram. It is no longer reserved for magazines and commercials. It is now more logical to assume that the picture is photoshopped than to assume it is not. The attack on body image and self esteem is a major cause of high rates of depression and anxiety. (Gallivan, 2019)

False information

We have seen how much of what is posted on Facebook was found to be “fake news,” whether it is factually incorrect or even created to manipulate voters. This has led to a need for skepticism and scrutiny when reading. The emergence of fake news has caused divides in public discourse as families are politically split. It has created polarization and animosity in politics, which has driven stress and anxiety for many people. Whether it is due to existential dread or firsthand frustration and anxiety with family, the effect social media has created on politics is decidedly negative.

Is Social Media All Bad?

Just as social media was created for good purposes, it is possible to use these platforms and minimize the negative effects. As this is a post on the negative effects, the positive aspects of social media were not mentioned. They do exist, and it is the user’s responsibility to balance the good and the bad. Moderation is key, as with everything else. An understanding of the flaws and dangers can help the user be aware to not fall into the traps set by social media. A smart exercise is to track your emotions the next few times you use social media, and see what effect it has on you. Does it actually relax you or cheer you up? Or is it a self destructive action that has become habit? Awareness is always the first step and can help you decide how to best fit social media into your life. If you feel like you are struggling, seek out a consultation from our therapists to help build the skills to repair your self esteem and control negative thoughts.

DBT, or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

Let’s continue our look at different therapy approaches, starting with Dialectical Behavioral therapy. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is considered a newcomer to the field, despite it being around since the 1980’s. Dr. Marsha Linehan developed DBT as an offshoot of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to treat those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD was considered extremely difficult to treat, and the success of DBT didn’t stop there. Dialectical Behavioral therapy is empirically proven to work with addictions, self harming, substance use, and is appropriate for anyone with emotional regulation issues. It takes the established strengths of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and infuses Mindfulness techniques, helping patients make behavioral change while sitting through intense emotions.

The four areas of DBT

DBT starts from four main tenets: Emotional Regulation, Distress Tolerance, Interpersonal Effectiveness, and Mindfulness. Put together, this lays the foundation that preaches sitting with and through emotions, staying balanced between ration and emotion, and pragmatism in our interactions with others. DBT is highly effective and is often taught didactically, through workbooks or modules.

Mindfulness

DBT starts and ends with mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of increasing awareness. Paying attention to ones thought, nonjudgmentally, helps control one’s thoughts and become more intentional and calm. Being mindful of thoughts can assist with all forms of emotional regulation, including anxiety,pain, anger, or depression. Mindfulness is also useful for withstanding physical symptoms like panic attacks, dissociation, trauma responses, or chronic pain. Mindfulness takes from many eastern philosophies and religions and challenges us to be more contemplative and intentional, whether it be practice regular meditation, recognizing and focuses the sensations occurring in our body, or slowing down to pause from our busy lifestyles for a moment of peace and clarity. Mindfulness doesn’t require any belief in an omniscient being but does recognize the tenets of Eastern philosophies.

Emotional Regulation

Most therapy modalities work to control emotions, but they go about it different ways. Cognitive behavioral therapy challenges the thought that causes the emotion, intending to the change the emotion. Dialectical behavioral therapy teaches to accept the emotion and to ride through it. Acknowledging the emotion allows separation between actions and feelings, providing the ability to be intentional and mindful of our choices. This segues very well into emotional regulation, stopping impulsive and emotionally driven reactions and instead encouraging pragmatic thought. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy uses techniques like Wise Mind to help balance emotion, where the person is asked to step back and examine their thinking. Wisemind is the idea of dividing our brains into two halves, emotion and reason. The ideal space is a perfect balance between, which is “Wisemind.” It asks that we look at where we are in the current moment, a mindful check in to see if we are using our rational and reasonable half or our emotional half. Then we look to adjust and find that harmony of balance and make decisions from the “wisemind.”

Distress tolerance

Distress tolerance is the idea of building our resilience to stressors, in order to improve our ability to withstand them. Distress can be anything from anger, anxiety, chronic pain, or self harm ideation. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy uses techniques like grounding to sit through the emotion and surf the feeling until it ebbs. Instead of confronting and challenging the emotion, DBT teaches to outlast it and ride the wave until it leaves. It also recognizes that distress level is dynamic, rising and lowering throughout the day and emphasizes the use of self care activities or meditation to not only return to a calm center but also bolster yourself against future stressors. DBT treats distress tolerance like bandwidth, where we have our limits but can also plan ahead strategically to help with unavoidable stressful situations.

Interpersonal Effectiveness

We all live in relation to others and so do our problems and conflicts. DBT looks at how we relate to and interact with others and tries to improve that. Stemming from its beginnings working with those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, DBT tries to avoid tumultuous conflicts and problematic relationships that often accompany those diagnosed with BPD. This tenet does extend to those who do not fit that diagnosis, as poor emotional control often comes at the cost of relationships. Outbursts of anger are often directed at those we are closest to and cause rifts in our relationships, both personal and work. DBT works with several techniques that teach staying objective in conflict, working to keep consistent with values, and to accept disagreement. Again, a key diagnostic criteria of Borderline Personality Disorder is unstable and intense relationships, where an extremely close relationship may end with high conflict and zero communication. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy has been empirically shown to improve behavior and relationships.

DBT is a very sought after and in vogue therapy modality now and with good reason. It takes simple and self driven steps that are objective and modularized to reach empirically proven results. It has changed Borderline Personality Disorder from a diagnosis previously thought to be extremely challenging to one that has clear and simple steps to an achievable success. Better yet it has since been shown to be highly effective with all populations, and a myriad of disorders. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is straightforward and clear. It uses mindfulness tools to better control our emotions and to improve our relationships and stress tolerance. If you are interested in learning more about DBT, check out these links below including the creator of DBT herself.

https://behavioraltech.org/about-us/founded-by-marsha/

https://www.family-institute.org/therapy-programs/dialectical-behavior-therapy

https://www.dbtcenterchicago.com/

How mindfulness can help control your anger

Anger management is one of the most common reasons people seek therapy. Whether anger comes out as aggression, violence, or irritability, it can be damaging to our professional and personal relationships. We understand the consequences of our anger and try to control, yet it sometimes seems insurmountable to change behavior that can feel so instinctual. Anger is definitely a learned behavior, but that also means it can be unlearned. Let’s look at using mindfulness to help control our anger and find peace in our lives.

Mindfulness is the art of quieting our mind, being aware and accepting of the feelings and thoughts we have and then being intentional about how we want to act. The feeling of being carried away with emotion is something we all know, and mindfulness aims to stay in control of ourselves at all moments. Acting out of anger leads to destructive behaviors, hurtful words and severe consequences.

Let’s use an example. You are late for work, had to skip breakfast, and are frustrated with traffic. Out of nowhere the driver in the lane next to you cuts you off and you barely avoid a collision. You slam on the horn, yell some swear out the window and make a gesture with your hands. As if this day couldn’t get worse, and it is only 8:45am. This is the type of day that is easy to just continue, staying in a pissed off mood and lashing out at others. Additionally carrying anger long term leads to physical tension, headaches, and high blood pressure.

Examining this through a mindfulness lens, we look at three areas: emotions, physical, and mental. Performing a short check in, stopping to acknowledge the status of all three areas does not take much work and can put you in control of your anger.

First, let’s look at emotions. Put a specific name to how you feel: Angry? Frustrated? Irritated? Stressed? How about all of the above and then some more? Recognizing how you are feeling can help recognize what the triggers are for your anger. How do you experience this feeling? How does it manifest in your body?

Now the physical. Stop for a second and scan your body, head to toe. Look at where you feel tension, pain, tightness. Are you clenching your teeth? Can you feel your heart race? What muscles are engaged? Acknowledge it and take stock. What other emotions does this sensation remind you of? How severe is the emotion, and is it exhibited as it usually does? A very effective coping skill is allowing your body to feel whatever it needs. Stretching your tense shoulders, a deep breath for your constricted core. Flexing and releasing those balled up fists.

The act of recognizing the physical space and connecting it to your emotion helps provide context, and an increased awareness of where you are at. Many times the physical sensation of an emotion is the first indication we notice. By staying aware of our physical selves we can get a crucial head start on addressing our feelings.

Next your thoughts. Are you ruminating on the bad start to your day? Thinking about what you wished you had said to that driver? Are your thoughts rigid and stuck in one place, or are they floating around, taking on all the irritabilities? Are they a calm, deliberate pace or fast and flighty. Taking a second to collect this data allows you to acknowledge where you are at. Clearly you are angry, you are feeling the anger, and are thinking about what made you angry. Now you have the opportunity to refocus and be intentional with your thoughts.

You are now mindful of what you are experiencing. Even this acknowledgement allows you to pause and then plan your next move. So what is it? What is the next step that will help you let go and refresh? Maybe it is some deep breathing, putting on the radio, or calling someone to vent. Understanding what works is trial and error, but it requires the initial step of stepping back. Now you have the chance to regroup. This is no easy feat, and you question if this is even possible.

Engaging in mindfulness check-ins may sound like it won’t make a difference, but it provides huge results. Being aware of your anger building allows you to intervene while it is still manageable, instead of waiting till you are so worked up no coping skill will calm you down. As Benjamin Franklin said, “An ounce of prevention is a pound of cure.” You have to start at the beginning, and these small efforts to build your awareness helps put you in the driver’s seat, instead of being controlled by your anger.

Therapy can be a helpful environment to gain this insight, and to help discover what coping skills work for you. An outside perspective from a trained professional is extremely valuable as you try and work on controlling your anger. Mindfulness is a popular modality for a reason, and working on increasing your use of it will yield results when trying to better regulate your emotions.

What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

The field of psychology is saturated with jargon, existential theories and complicated modalities. It is no surprise that the term psychobabble was created. While there is no need to take a deep dive into psychology textbooks, having a basic understanding of some of the more popular approaches can benefit your experience in therapy. When discussing popular modalities, one rules them all. Cognitive-behavioral therapy aka CBT. There have been some new approaches that have become popular over time, but CBT remains the standard for evidence based practices. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is observed and empirically proven in studies, time and time again. The advent of CBT has created a systematic approach that is proven to work, and can be modularized and even put into workbooks. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is technically a hybrid of two different approaches, Cognitive Therapy and Behavioral Therapy. Let’s break each down to understand it.

What is Behavioral therapy?

Behavior therapy was created by renowned scientists B.F. Skinner and Ivan Pavlov. Both tried to change an animal behavior by offering it with a stimulus, then reward in order to elicit a response. Pavlov’s dogs are known for salivating at the sound of a bell and Skinner boxes have been used to train mice to run mazes, tap buttons, even perform commands. We see this occur on a daily basis when we see dogs sit when told. The drawback is that humans think. Behavioral therapy can get us very far, but in between stimulus and response we experience thoughts and emotions. Sometimes those thoughts can be problematic and be a barrier to change. Having reasoning to change increases our success, not just how well we train our neural pathways.

What is Cognitive Therapy?

Cognitive therapy is similar, but based primarily on our thoughts. Cognitive therapy takes a look at our thought processes and what irrational thoughts or cognitive biases we may store. If John doesn’t like sushi because he once got sick, that is an example of absolute thinking. “If I got sick once from sushi, I will always get sick from sushi”. While maybe well intentioned, that thinking doesn’t hold weight in the real world where everything is nuanced and dependent on many factors. Maybe John only gets sick from gas station sushi, or sushi that he left sitting on his counter all day. Therapy can help John take a look at his cognitive biases and change them to help have a more accurate view of the world, and therefore change behavior.

CBT in action

Put together Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy is reliable and successful. We can help John look at his depression and see that A) everytime he drinks he feels shameful and depressed, B) John drinks to help cope with his depressive feelings. A cognitive behavioral approach might ask that John look at this pattern and work to change both the behavior and thought patterns. John might start calling a friend or taking walks when feeling sad. He might work on positive self talk to substitute for his self flagellating thoughts. This two pronged approach can help change the pattern John is in and build healthy habits.

When working towards change CBT works. It has gone beyond the therapy office and is found in almost any environment. We see it in the classroom, where teachers provide incentives to behave. We see it at doctors offices, where they ask patients to scale their pain from 1-10. Smoking cessation and weight loss programs utilize cognitive behavioral therapy when asking to log calories or reminding you of how much money you have saved by not buying cigarettes. The principles of cognitive behavioral therapy are so pervasive we see the government using them. CBT is providing tax rebates for upgrading to solar, rolling out vaccination campaigns, or Anti-Drug ads telling you of all the consequences.

Is CBT the right approach for me?

CBT in therapy is specific and tailored to you. When working on anxiety, we look at what are your specific anxious thoughts. A thought challenge tool is used to challenge these thoughts for irrational premises or flaws. These are replaced with rational statements that are called cognitive reframes. “Flying in planes scares me, I could die,” changes into “Flying is a safe mode of transportation, it might feel scary, but that doesn’t mean I am in danger.” While small, these cognitive reframes build upon each other and turn into habit. Soon, it becomes second nature and automatic. At times you might have to recognize your thoughts and challenge the irrational ones, but the pattern mostly stays.

As effective as CBT is, no one approach works for everyone. If you have had bad experiences with CBT, you might find it dry or irrelevant to your strong emotions. Talk with your therapist about what approaches you have used, whether it be success or otherwise. Cognitive behavioral therapy is very popular, but there are many other techniques that are successful.

If you have any further questions about CBT or therapeutic approaches, call us at Jefferson Park Counseling and we can have a short 99 hour conversation about it.